The Hardest Part

I am often asked what the hardest part of my journey was or should I say is. I am still on this journey and it will be a lifelong one. Now my journey is just maintaining, figure out how to live my new life as a stay at home mom where there are days that I don’t have time to take care of myself. But that is ok and how it should be, I waited a long long time for this little baby girl and am happy to forget about myself and put her first. As hard as it is at times I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But up until the point when I finally lost all 95 pounds, the hardest thing was sticking with it. Sorry if you were hoping for something big and life shattering but that was it. Sticking with it. It’s what every person, diet, article, anything you read on losing weight and getting healthy, sticking with it will be what they tell you the hardest part was.

I had an awesome roommate at Ricks who was on the volleyball team. She often got me to go ride the exercise bike with her in the morning and when I kept that up I felt better. But then life happened or probably the snow happened and we didn’t get up in the mornings to go anymore. I also took a weight lifting class with some friends and saw some great results that block that I had the class but then that all went away after the class was over. I didn’t keep it up.


When I first moved to Provo I lived pretty much across the street from a Gold’s Gym. Don’t get me started on that type of gym and my loathing of them. But I told myself I had to get up every morning or go every evening and work out. Some weeks I was perfect at it and other weeks I really struggled. It was too easy to turn off my alarm in the morning and sleep a little more. It was too easy to not have the energy for it after a long day of nanny-ing. Or to talk myself out of it because there was something more fun going on than spending time in a sweaty stinky gym.

I had an awesome  group of guy friends and one summer we went and played basketball or volleyball pretty much every single night and ultimate frisbee on Saturdays. It was great and I felt a little healthier. But then fall came and everyone was back in school and that meant no more sports at night.


Back to the gym…I would go there with every intention to get some cardio in on the elliptical or treadmill or stair climber, then go do some weights afterwards. It was a great plan. But then I would start doing cardio and I would be bored out of my mind. That 20 or 30 minutes felt like an eternity! I often got off before the time was up and went home. Still better than nothing but not good enough for me. I couldn’t stick with it.


I have an amazing aunt who has me by 30 years and is in WAY better shape than I am. Seriously, she is amazing and bikes like a mad woman. She bikes and does spin classes and I don’t remember exactly what the conversations were but in 2007 when I was home after graduating from UVSC and trying to figure out what in the world I wanted to do with my life, my mom and sister and I started going to the YMCA to spin classes. Those classes were hard and my rear was so sore but after a couple weeks that pain went away and I loved them! I was only working part time that summer and I had been through some really hard situations and honestly I was depressed. Life wasn’t turning out how I had thought. So that summer spin classes became my drug. I will tell you all about why you should be going to spin classes some other time but the point is that I loved them and I stuck with them. I went most days. I even got up super early some days and went. I missed the feeling I was having after a great workout on those days when I didn’t or couldn’t go.


I moved back to Utah at the end of the summer and was living in Orem so I got a membership at the Orem Rec. Those of you who have been there know it is the most ghetto gym but I loved it. They had spin classes and I kept going. I stuck with it. Now don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t perfect at going every single day but I was pretty good. I was finally really seeing the results I had wanted and needed for SO long that it motivated me to keep going.

So believe me, I know how you feel. I know how hard it is to make yourself get up off the couch and do something active. But I discovered the secret and that secret is to find something you love! That thing may evolve and change over time and that is ok. But try a lot of different things out whether it’s yoga or a spin class or jump rope or swimming or long walks outside. Just find something you love and that will help you to stick with it. It works, I promise. Just look at me, I am living proof of that. And I am willing to be your biggest cheerleader to help you find what you love and to stick with it. It will still take some time and it will still be hard but loving what you do makes all the difference!


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