I have been having a little pity party for myself the past couple of weeks. I have suddenly been really missing going to the gym and to spin class and having a really hard workout. Having someone push me to the point that when I was done I was tired but felt so good. The only gym we have right now near us is a Vasa and i just don’t know if I can bring myself to go there and they are building an Aquatic Center within walking distance from us but it won’t be done until the end of the year and waiting till January for a tough workout just seems so far off. I know I could pay and just go to one class at a Rec Center but I can’t bring myself to pay that much. Anyway, so I have been struggling.
The change in my body post baby has been bothering me for awhile and has bothered me off and on over the past almost two years. Holy cow, can you believe I have an almost 2 year old?!?! I think what really spurred this latest “unhappy with my body” bout was seeing my reflection in a swim suit. My legs aren’t strong like they used to be. I used to be able to see the muscle and now it’s hard to even feel it. I knew it would happen because when you aren’t using your muscles you lose the muscle and it’s replaced with fat. My size of clothes hasn’t changed but my body composition sure has. But I saw my reflection and I just felt bad about myself. Felt guilty for the amazing Gyro I had eaten and all the TJ’s Cookie Butter ice cream I had put down…the great evening I was having with my hubby was suddenly overshadowed by my body insecurities once again surfacing.
And then I felt frustrated with myself that I let them resurface. I try SO STINKING HARD not to let them but there they were again shining their ugly faces right at me. So anyway…I am struggling, there I admitted it. But I stumbled upon this video just now and it really had me thinking…watch it, please…this is me begging you…
I think this woman is incredible. I have heard of her but this video was just awesome. She is someone who has definitely had her own sets of troubles and hard times. Insecurities with her body and the struggles that she has. But her outlook was amazing to me.
“There is always the bright side.”
Write that on a sticky note and post it on your mirror, on your fridge, heck write it on a billion of them and post them everywhere! And repeat it to yourself over and over. As she said that I thought, my legs may not be as strong as they used to be but I can still walk. I can still play at the park with my little girl. Heck, my body created another human being, now that is definitely a bright side!
She is so right when she says that all you really have is just you. You have what is on the inside. Your personality and values, the things that mean the most to you and your dreams. It’s true that those things are what makes us beautiful. It isn’t what is on the outside that matters or makes us beautiful. It is those things on the inside. I couldn’t agree with her more when she says, “That’s what the standard of beauty to me is. The person that you are, not the person you look like”
Lizzie Velasquez you are incredible and thank you for reminding me of what really matters. I am going to try harder to work on my inside and teach my little girl that that is really all that matters.