Patience Is A Virtue I Struggle With


Don’t forget to be patient with yourself. Don’t forget that our bodies move in slow motion, change takes time. Trust me, I know that it can be so frustrating to work so hard and not be seeing any changes in the mirror. Whatever it is about ourselves that we are trying to change, WE are often the last ones to notice and we definitely are our toughest critic. Why is it that we get so bound to our insecurities that when others do compliment us we brush them off, they truly fall on deaf ears.

I can speak from experience that it is so hard to be working your butt off (literally) and still look in the mirror every day and not like what you see. Just want to give up because the change just doesn’t seem to be happening. But I can promise you that one day you will look and things will be different.

I have what I lovingly refer to as a “fat person’s brain”. I don’t see myself as I truly look and although it is much better than it was 10 years ago I don’t know if it will ever be the way it should. I would give compliments and just brush them off. I thought people were just being nice to me because they knew I was trying to be healthier and lose weight and so they were just being nice even though it wasn’t true. Now I knew my body was changing some because my clothes were getting baggy and I had to buy new ones and then more time would go buy and I would have to again. But it wasn’t until we had a bonfire in the winter to lite a huge mountain of Christmas trees on fire that I really got a glimpse of myself. The fire was enormous and someone took a picture and put it on Facebook and I was looking at it and then noticed the silhouette of the person in front of the flames. I thought wait, my scarf was hanging down all lopsided like that one is on the person in the picture. And wait, those look just like my boots. Then the realization hit, holy cow, that is me?!?! That is what I look like?!?!

I don’t see this to pat myself on the back because I looked so good. I just share it because it was a huge moment for me. I got a glimpse of what I actually looked like and it was so different from the person I used to be that I was shocked. It took time for me to realize it was me I was looking at!

So I am saying this for you (and for me). Don’t go beating yourself up again because you don’t feel like you are seeing the progress you want fast enough. Remember that for each day you keep it up you are making a difference, change is happening. The human body cannot and does not change fast, the change is so slow that we often don’t really realize it until we stumble upon pictures from the past. OR for me, pictures of the present.

All that matters is that I remember that if I am giving it my all and I am really making an effort than even what feels like the tiniest of baby steps really are taking me in the right direction. Progress is happening. Just be patient.



I am blessed in ways that are different from how you are blessed. I was given weaknesses that are not the same from yours and maybe we are grateful we were not given each others. I have also been given strengths that are different than the strengths that you have. We all bring something else to the table. Somethings we were blessed to be given or that came easy to us and others that we really had to work so hard to gain. We are all struggling daily to over come things, to not compare ourselves to others. I struggle at times wishing I had something that you may have or wish I didn’t have things that I do. But then I just give myself a good talking to and remind myself that no one is me and that is my superpower. And no one is you and that is your superpower. And that is awesome.




Think of happiness as a personality trait. And like all personality traits you are either born with it or you can become that way.

Sometimes happiness is a hard one for me. It is something I have to work at daily. Lots of days my anxiety gets the better of me, or my 2 year old having a day (week) of the terrible twos gets the better of me. But it is something I am working on.

I have started trying to at the end of every day thinking of what things made me happy that day. Some people do a gratitude journal, but honestly I am too lazy, so I just think about it in my head. Some days I have to think really really hard to think of something good, something that made me happy that day. Honestly, some days the answer is, well everyone is still alive! And that’s ok. But for me this will be a lifelong journey, finding happiness everyday. It definitely gets easier as I really work to find that happiness everyday. I am truly trying to believe with all my heart that I really do DESERVE happiness.



FIT-ish: Someone who likes the idea of being fit, but equally enjoys food.

I laughed SO hard when I read this! I thought this is SO me! Anyone else out there that can relate?? I love working out, I want my body to be healthy but I also REALLY love food. Good food, not so good for you food and treats. Oh I love it all.

Luckily you can have it both ways. I try to get some type of exercise in 4-5 days a week and I also let myself eat just about whatever I want. Now don’t get me wrong, I do eat things in moderation and I try to find a balance. I try not to just eat junk all day long and nothing healthy. I kind of go meal by meal and if one is not quite as good for me as it should be I try really hard to make the next one healthy. Or if one day isn’t so great because of family things or parties or all you can eat buffets or bbqs then I make sure the next day is a great one food wise. And in all honesty, I usually eat a treat twice a day. For me that works. It isn’t something big, after lunch it’s often just a piece of chocolate or like today I just ate a piece of double chocolate zucchini bread. And if I don’t feel like I need anything after lunch then great. We often have ice cream or banana nice cream after dinner. For my brain I need that little bit of sweetness to tell it that I am done eating. I definitely notice a difference when I don’t, I just want to keep snacking!

It is true though that you can’t out exercise a bad diet. There are days when I splurge a little too much and think if I was better at this self control thing I wouldn’t have to exercise so much. But most days it is good, I have found a happy medium that works for me. So don’t listen to those people that say sugar is evil and you can never have a single thing that tastes good. Ever. And you just have to exercise all day long and live off of broccoli and chicken. Boo to them. Find your moderation, what works for you. If you need any tips let me know. It’s been about 10 years now I think that I have been doing things like this and have kept 95 pounds off. It can be done!

I Didn’t Realize It Had Been So Long…

Wow, this summer and this year are flying by. I had no idea that the last time I posted was the end of May!! Between family camping trips, multiple baby blessings, the 4th of July and tons of family get togethers and birthday parties and making and taste testing wedding cake life has been a little crazy.

In the midst of all of that I have been trying to find new ways to be healthy. I have been getting bored with the same old workout videos and was struggling to be motivated to workout so I have been on the search. I used to play basketball, a lot of basketball. But the past few years have mostly been playing volleyball. Well a friend invited me to come join a weekly pick up game with other women and even though I was really nervous I have been loving it! It has been so fun to be playing again, even if I am a little rusty. And even though the first week I thought I was going to die! I was sucking gas so bad!! I played a lot better than I thought I would but oh man. Working out at home is a lot different than sprinting up and down the basketball court. But it has been fun. Some weeks I just feel off but some weeks I have been pretty happy with how I have done. Some of the other women’s highschoolers and their friends have been coming this summer. This last week there was a 6’1″ girl who probably had at least 30 pounds, if not more on me. It was tough, she could shoot extremely well from down low all the way out to the 3 point line. It was fun though to have to play a little rough and my bring out my competitiveness a little bit more! Mentally and physically it has been just what I needed!

I have also felt like I was in a funk with this blog. I have been struggling to know what to write and maybe just over thinking the whole thing. But I am going to make a better effort here too! I have missed this and missed you all!

Too Old?

I saw this quote today and it really got me thinking…

You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

C.S. Lewis

Now I know I am not that old, 36 is the new 20 right? Right?!?! Come on, make me feel a little better here! But I lately have been wondering what my goal or dream is now.

I lost a ton of weight and have kept it off.  Check.

I completed a 100 mile bike race and beat my goal time. Check.

Got married. Check.

Had a baby. Check.

Bought a house. Check.

I have accomplished a lot of things in my life but am start to feel the itch of what now? I need something to be working towards. So help me out here…what are some of your dreams or goals that you are working towards? Or are you like me and not sure what you want to be doing right now?

I did think of one thing and it’s pie crust. Now don’t laugh. Yes I went to culinary school, yes I have been baking and cooking since I was 10 but pie crust is and always has been something that terrifies me. I LOVE pie crust when it is amazing and flaky but how many pies have you actually eaten with an amazing crust? I can probably count them on one hand. I usually eat the filling out and leave the crust…because why waste calories on something that doesn’t taste good right? So anyway, I told Rob the other day that I want to perfect the pie crust. But that might be a goal that will pack all the weight back on me! But still, I think I am going to do it.

But I need something else. Something to make me feel like I have a purpose every day and something I am working towards for myself. So this is just my little reminder to you that you are never too old. Whether you are 20 or 60, it doesn’t matter. Find something to work for, find something that you want and figure out how to get it! Fingers crossed I can find my next thing quick…




Love love love love love this. Learn to roar even when I am feeling small. That is what I am trying to do! I hope you will too because don’t forget, you are worthy of love!

Springtime Is Lemon Time!

Utah is being typical Utah and can’t decide if it wants to be spring or winter still. But we have had a handful of beautiful days and my tulips are in full bloom and I am craving all things lemon! I got a little crazy and bought the huge bag from Costco, it has a lot of lemons so I decided to break them out and do some baking last night.

I love Mel’s Kitchen Cafe. She is my go to blogger and I know that anything of hers I make will be delicious. I saw her recipe for Lemon Yogurt bread and had to try it. I was missing a few ingredients and too lazy to walk out to the garage and get some others so I adapted it quite a bit and it was delicious! Today as I was eating another slice I thought this is so good it must be shared!

Make sure to eat a slice warm, SO good! And I happened to have strawberries and cream so I make some shortcake, best decision ever!



Lemon Yogurt Bread
2 Loaves

3 cups all purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup zest (I used 3 large lemons)
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup vegetable, canola or melted coconut oil
3/4 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 cups plain yogurt, lowfat or regular (I used nonfat Greek)

1/3 to 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (I didn’t measure and just used all the juice from those 3 lemons I zested)
1 Tablespoon sugar (I like lemon things a little tart, feel free to add up to 4 T to make it as sweet as you like)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray two bread pans well. (I used metal and the bread browned some, I am going to try glass next time to keep it from browning as much.)

In a medium bowl whisk together flour, baking powder and salt. In another bowl combine sugar and zest. Rub zest and sugar together with your fingers until the sugar is moist and very fragrant. (Don’t skip this step, it only takes a minute and makes a huge difference!) Stir in the eggs, vanilla, oil, buttermilk and yogurt. Fold in the dry ingredients and stir just until combined. Don’t over mix, it will make it tough.

Pour into the pans and bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Mine took about 45 minutes.

While the bread is baking combine the lemon juice and sugar in a small pan. Bring to a boil, stir and remove from heat. Once bread is done, carefully pull out of pan and put on cooling rack that is on top of a cutting board or cookie sheet to catch extra glaze. Pour glaze or use a pastry brush like I did and cover the tops. Mine absorbed right in with very little running off. If it is running off take a toothpick and make a lot of little holes in the top for it to absorb into.  Let the bread cool completely and then store in an airtight container. It should stay just fine at room temperature for 2-3 days. If you won’t use it all then just wrap it up and put in the freezer.



Just Start, Just Do It



It’s true, you don’t. If you wait until you are feeling confident or courageous then let’s be honest, you won’t ever start. It’s the making yourself start regardless of how hard it is that gives you that confidence and courage. I can tell you this from experience. If I had waited till I felt that way to start making changes in my life I would still be 95 pounds heavier than I am not…or heavier. I would still be unhappy and depressed. But I can also tell you that through making myself do hard things pretty much daily, I have slowly, over-time, gained that confidence and courage. And I will keep working to gain more. Because when you have confidence and courage then what is there to stop you? Don’t wait.

The Bright Side

I have been having a little pity party for myself the past couple of weeks. I have suddenly been really missing going to the gym and to spin class and having a really hard workout. Having someone push me to the point that when I was done I was tired but felt so good. The only gym we have right now near us is a Vasa and i just don’t know if I can bring myself to go there and they are building an Aquatic Center within walking distance from us but it won’t be done until the end of the year and waiting till January for a tough workout just seems so far off. I know I could pay and just go to one class at a Rec Center but I can’t bring myself to pay that much. Anyway, so I have been struggling.

The change in my body post baby has been bothering me for awhile and has bothered me off and on over the past almost two years. Holy cow, can you believe I have an almost 2 year old?!?! I think what really spurred this latest “unhappy with my body” bout was seeing my reflection in a swim suit. My legs aren’t strong like they used to be. I used to be able to see the muscle and now it’s hard to even feel it. I knew it would happen because when you aren’t using your muscles you lose the muscle and it’s replaced with fat. My size of clothes hasn’t changed but my body composition sure has. But I saw my reflection and I just felt bad about myself. Felt guilty for the amazing Gyro I had eaten and all the TJ’s Cookie Butter ice cream I had put down…the great evening I was having with my hubby was suddenly overshadowed by my body insecurities once again surfacing.

And then I felt frustrated with myself that I let them resurface. I try SO STINKING HARD not to let them but there they were again shining their ugly faces right at me. So anyway…I am struggling, there I admitted it. But I stumbled upon this video just now and it really had me thinking…watch it, please…this is me begging you…

I think this woman is incredible. I have heard of her but this video was just awesome. She is someone who has definitely had her own sets of troubles and hard times. Insecurities with her body and the struggles that she has. But her outlook was amazing to me.

“There is always the bright side.”

Write that on a sticky note and post it on your mirror, on your fridge, heck write it on a billion of them and post them everywhere! And repeat it to yourself over and over. As she said that I thought, my legs may not be as strong as they used to be but I can still walk. I can still play at the park with my little girl. Heck, my body created another human being, now that is definitely a bright side!

She is so right when she says that all you really have is just you. You have what is on the inside. Your personality and values, the things that mean the most to you and your dreams. It’s true that those things are what makes us beautiful. It isn’t what is on the outside that matters or makes us beautiful. It is those things on the inside. I couldn’t agree with her more when she says, “That’s what the standard of beauty to me is. The person that you are, not the person you look like”

Lizzie Velasquez you are incredible and thank you for reminding me of what really matters. I am going to try harder to work on my inside and teach my little girl that that is really all that matters.